Juggling

I haven’t written in a while. I’ve missed it but these last few weeks into the new year and I’m feeling like there is a lot happening; things are pretty balanced and there hasn’t been too much unwanted disruption. January has been eventful and emotional but a great start to the year. I had a wonderful first day of the New Year brunching and exploring some of Brooklyn with friends and then later dinner with some other pretty amazing people in the UWS.

I did have a few moments of reflection about what I’ve gone through since the 10 years had passed when I first heard of my dad’s death. There was a beautiful moment while I waited in a subway station for the train and there was a musician playing Nat King Cole and Ol Blue Eyes. I grew up listening to these artists and the like. It’s my favorite genre of music. It made me feel like my father was with me and reflecting on my life alongside me.

Those kinds of moments aren’t accidental. A lot of other things have happened the past few weeks. I’ve been able to clean up some things with work, I’ve gone on a handful of dates with a handful of guys, I’ve signed up for volunteer work and meetups, I started and finished that amazing podcast Serial, I read an awesome book by a wonderful author, I’ve met up with friends for dinner and tried new restaurants, I’ve had happy hours and made amends with a coworker (well I guess more like cleared the air), I’ve come across some adorable puppies on various occasions which melted my heart, I tried soul cycle for the first time, I’ve seen beautiful sunrises just walking to my subway to get to work, I’ve deepened relationships that are important to me, I continue to make choices that are beneficial to the person I am proud to be…

Such is life.

Shit keeps moving. It’s only been 3 weeks and a lot has happened. I love staying busy. I’ve always been this way. I become incredibly lethargic and for lack of a better word ‘blah’ and depressed when I don’t have fun things happening around me or even just things. I’m a very passionate person so it only makes sense I need so much stimulation to keep things flowing.

This month also marks my 6 month-versary of living in New York City. It’s going by incredibly fast and that scares me yet also shows me that when you want something and put all your efforts into your goals it’s easy. Your psche and equilibrium become in sync. My roomie likes to remind me of how much I’ve done since I’ve been here when I start to feel like things are too stagnant or not going in the direction I want as quickly as I’d like them to go. I appreciate the reminders. She’s been such a wonderful addition to my life I am beyond grateful to have met her.

No mistakes just happy accidents.

This month I also start my program to becoming a Life Coach. I’ve very excited to learn some new skill sets and apply things I’ve already learned to help others motivate. I’ve always seen myself in a role of helping others in a way that also inspires me. Color me excited. I’m in a really good place right now. I’m exactly where I need to be. But it’s all a juggling act. Finding a rhythm and flow to life so that things stay balanced. Some things are more emotional than others (ie my toxic work environment, my dating life, not having enough in the finance department, etc). And sometimes I waver on the more obsessive and get into panic mode and start to feel insecure about my dreams and my capabilities. But then I talk myself off the ledge and give myself some love. Gotta woosaa. (Go watch Bad Boys if you don’t know what I mean by woosaa). Trusting myself is an ongoing process. Sometimes it’s really tough. I am still struggling with giving myself some leniency and a little bit of deserving credit. I’m sorry I have no photos. Still need to get my iphoto situated by those geniuses. It shall happen soon.

For now I leave you with this:

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