Things I’ve learned

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas holiday (if you celebrate Christmas, of course). It’s been nice  to be home home for the holidays but I am a bit eager to be back at home in New York. I miss walking the streets with the cold brisk air hitting my face. Holidays in New York are a magical time and the kid in me squealed with delight over all the pretty lights and holiday decor. I would post pictures but unfortunately I’m having iPhoto library issues that I hope to be resolved next week when I’m back in NYC.

So for the meantime, since I’ve been a bit introspective (what’s new) I thought I would write about the things I’ve learned.

I’ve learned a lot in my 32 years of life. Not all have been good lessons or good takeaways.  I’ve also relearned a lot  that still surprises me.  As the end of each year draws to a close I  tend to get all self reflection like. It’s an emotional time for me. Goodbyes are never fun even if it’s just me saying goodbye to a year that has challenged me in ways I didn’t think possible as well as brought me profound joy. This time I will also be saying goodbye to family and friends again in knowing I probably won’t be back for a long while. Also, my father will have passed away 10 years ago come this New Years day. So much has happened within these 10 years that has defined me. Thinking on that alone blows my mind.

I’m looking back at this year and I’m taking inventory. With that said I don’t plan on making any New Year’s resolutions. Although I love new beginnings, I don’t feel that things that need to be addressed should wait until the start of a new year or a new birthday. Years ago I used to make resolutions but they ended up becoming lists of unfinished business backed by disappointment in myself. Ain’t nobody got time for that. So now I make daily life choices and have a ‘bucket list’ and make sure I cross things off asap.

Here are some things I’ve learned:

  • People are who they say they are. Believe them when they tell you about themselves. They know themselves best. If someone says this is who they are and this is what they’re capable of don’t push them to be the belief you want them to be. They already told you who they are. Accept that.
  • Closed mouths don’t get fed. Everything is negotiable. Everything. Always ask for what you want and believe you deserve it otherwise you end up coming up short. Only you are the one deciding your worth.
  • No matter what I do in life I will require help from someone else to make it happen so it’s okay to bring people in and ask for help. No man is an island. Something as small as purchasing food that another person cooked or picked in a field to as big as making a life change and asking for support or love or even money or a job. People need people and it’s ok to ask for help. People enjoy feeling needed
  • Money is just money but I  should also be smart and save for a rainy day or in case something crazy comes up. My top priorities are always experiences but if something were to go down I may not have the financial backing to help a situation. I know that when I’m laying on my deathbed I’m going to be thinking back on my life of experience and the journey I had. I’m 100% sure I will not be thinking of how much I have in your account. BUT the caveat is to make sure I’m financially stable and have a backup plan to at least get me through the next 3 months if  I lose my job or my place to live.
  • Tell the people that I love every chance I get that I love and appreciate them. I need to not  just tell them. I aim to make sure they really feel it. Life is not a guarantee and with all the crazy in this world people need to hear see and feel they are loved
  • There is no greater pleasure than giving back to humanity. Volunteer. I feel humbled when I do and I am reminded of human kindness. People need to be reminded
  • The best meal is a home cooked meal shared with friends and loved ones. I long for more of those
  • Only I have complete control over my reactions and can either see the good in a bad experience or continue to be angry
  • When I ‘Act As If’ after a while I start to really begin to believe the act is the reality and poof I’m now what I always wanted to be
  • Experiencing different cultures and ways of life truly opens my mind and makes me more well rounded and allows me to appreciate my own way of life and culture
  • There is no greater life experience than to experience a baby coming into this world. In a single moment you feel such a great feeling of universal power that is so much greater than you’ve ever known and that you have absolutely no control over
  • People appreciate and take notice of what I do and how I live my life so I should live it justly and give back to my community in which ever community I  relate to or want to be a part of. By giving a part of me I become a part of something greater than I ever thought of
  • I don’t always have to say everything I feel or think at all times although what I do say or feel or think always should be authentic and true to who I am
  • I don’t always need to pick up the tab especially when I am struggling financially and others may be in a better situation. It’s not about having good manners and not wanting a fuss and being that person; it’s more about realizing that sometimes you need to put yourself first and be responsible
  • People don’t always have the same values I have. I can’t take it personally when someone reacts or does something that I would never do or don’t believe in. People are different and what they do has nothing to do with me so I shouldn’t take things personally.
  • When you do the necessary work and really self reflect you will begin to bring in the rewards in ways more gratifying than you ever thought possible
  • I need to trust and love myself first before I’m fully able to trust and love anyone else. That includes any relationship, not just the romantic kind
  • You can’t choose your genetic blood family but you can choose family
  • Only buy things you truly love and don’t have to justify
  • Love isn’t enough sometimes and that’s ok
  • Always be passionate; passionate about my dreams, passionate about my life, passionate about love

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