Jobless and eager

There’s a huge part of me that wants to book a last minute flight to Europe since it’s so “close” then there’s that part of me that is nagging at the fact that I spend so much money on food like I’ll never eat again. I’m not being overly cautious, or any kind of cautious really, but I maybe (read: probably) should be. My funds aren’t endless and I still don’t have a job. I’m not eager to work for the money, although, I really like money. Actually, what I like is having money. But that’s not it. I’m eager to work to get into a rhythm of life, to feel like I truly do live here and not wandering around aimlessly taking photos of pretty things and breaking for food and for Hux to sniff other dog’s butts. Don’t get me wrong we love exploring and  I am feeling truly blessed and grateful to be able to do so but I’m not feeling productive. When I’m productive I  feel accomplished. It’s a good feeling. I also really enjoy structure. Although, I like it to be more of a loose structure. I enjoy the idea of a 9-5 but with the option to work from home and the hours of start and finish flexible. All of my jobs in the past 8 years have had that flexibility. I don’t think I could get back into something where it’s specific hours and no leeway and I have to ask permission for a Dr’s appt or if I’m not feeling well (read: hungover) I can’t just send an email saying I’m wfh (working from home for those not in the know).  I don’t do well being micro-managed but I like direction and processes.

I’ve had wonderful days here in NYC thus far. Some better than others due to events or productivity level of “Phase 2 – operation surviving the big city”.  But I’m eager for the daily grind of the work hustle. I can only be stagnant for so long before feeling deflated on energy. It’s different being on vacation because the goal is to enjoy everything to the max by doing everything in excess within your limited time; eating, drinking, shopping, seeing as much touristy shit as possible etc. It’s different for me because, even though, when I first got here it felt like vacation, it isn’t. I don’t need to do everything touristy in a day. I don’t need to eat at every restaurant right away. I don’t need to pack it all in. I have time. Well as much as my “time” according to the powers that be will allow.

I have a “home” now. I have a physical NYC address. I am no longer crashing on a couch and living out of a suitcase. I have a Seemless account and get food delivered all the time. I used the wash and fold pick up and drop off laundry service for the first time. The superintendent of my building knows who I am because I already locked myself out of my apt. (Funny story that I will recount later along with all the other funny stories I’m saving for you all for a rainy day. Feel free to remind me to tell you in case I forget). A friend who lives in the UES is moving to the UWS and we’re mapping out all the places we want to eat at and what places we’ve discovered have great happy hours. I’m saying hi to neighbors I’ve already encountered previously. I found the best place for garlic knots. Huxley leads me to the dog park and back to the apt because he knows the way.

I live in New York City. I fucking live in New York City. When did that happen you guys??? Shit’s just hitting me. I really just sold most of my shit including my beautiful new car, packed 7 boxes and 3 suitcases, left all my friends and family and unborn babies and moved 2500+ miles away across the country with my lil dog? AND I have no job to boot?! Wait what?! Shit. I guess I really did just do that…

I need a minute..

I’m back. Ok. Wow. Moving on. Yes, I live here. We were talking about my eagerness. Besides being eager for the grind and the work paced life I’m also eager to work so I can make more friends. The workplace is a great resource for that. I like being busy and having plans and just doing fun shit. I want more people to do fun shit with. I feel experiences are best shared. The good thing is that it’s easy for me to build connections with people. I got the greatest compliment indirectly told to me from my old boss turned wonderful friend that an executive whom I really respected and worked with said to her that I had an effervescence about me and I have this uncanny way of making people comfortable and feel good about themselves. It made me tear. I’m not going to lie. It was probably one of the nicest things someone has said to me that isn’t in my direct circle. I got effervescence y’all. Put that on a business card.

I have had moments of sadness missing my people back home. I wish I could teleport you all in for dinner. I really miss you beautiful people. I love seeing everyone’s Instagram photos and wish i could be there to partake in the fun but I’m cheers’ing along in spirit. As I know, you all are doing the same for me. But should you feel the need to get away –  book your flights and come visit me! ASAP is ideal but I guess I’m flex. I promise I’ll try to fatten you up as much as possible and send you home satisfied.

I promise next post will be a bunch of photos and funny musings. Well, photos at least.

Vote now if you think I should just go ahead and book a trip to Europe.


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