Awareness: Germs, spatial and otherwise

Very quickly I’m learning things that I never was truly aware of before. Every time I’ve visited I just did what I was told by whoever I was with. I followed those that knew where they were going and never paid attention too much to my surroundings. I never had to.  Now that I’m here with a different agenda (read: survival) I’m trying to soak in as much as I can. I think i’m becoming annoying to those I’m hanging out with. My questions are incessant. Is that the East River? What bridge is that? How do you know where to transfer? Where are we now? What is your favorite garlic knots spot? What should I do during the day to get to know the city? I was just told yesterday that my curiosity is childlike and endearing. I’m sure some would disagree and call it bothersome. People are starting to tell me they feel bad they don’t have the answers to my questions not for my sake but I think because I’m stumping them with my ceaseless questions therefore making them feel like they don’t know their own city. I’m such a dick. I should probably let up soon if I want to continue hanging out with the select few I do know in New York. My bad friends. I’ll start googling shit. I promise.

I’m finding it a battle grappling with the fact that there are germs everywhere and I may not have easy access to a sink to wash or purrell my hands. It’s gross you guys. The one thing I’m super OCD about besides my organized closet is washing my hands and germs. It’s just not that feasible to stay so fresh and so clean when it’s muggy and humid and I’m sweating off literally pounds of sweat and you’re touching things like subway poles and doors of bathrooms. I find myself feeling gross and so not cute all the time. I need to acquiesce to the fact that this is just how it’s going to be. I don’t have the money to cab it everywhere and I am enjoying so much FINALLY living in a walkable city. It’s a problem that can’t be rectified. Unless my predisposed sweat glands decide to let up on me I’m going to be a sweaty germ ridden blob. Come and get it boys! I’m sure I also smell quite lovely.

Another thing is spatial awareness. When you’re jam packed on the subway or walking the crowded streets downtown it would behoove you to make yourself as small as possible. Don’t lean against the pole making it difficult for others to use. Grab it with one hand and make space for others. Otherwise, better believe asshole that you’re asking for dirty looks and scoffs. If you’re lost and need to bust out your app map on that super smarter than you phone of yours don’t stand there looking like a fucking idiot in the middle of the stairwell exit once you get off the subway. Walk out and off to the side. (sidenote:even New Yorkers need to bust out their map apps and figure out where they are. Makes me feel sooo much better about myself. Go me!) If it’s raining and you have a gigantor umbrella and walking super slow on the sidewalk people may hope that you knock your eye out on it or trip over yourself and break your stupid umbrella. Jerk.

Also, if you want to blend in quickly in New York and not stand out like a tourist there’s no need to use the crosswalk to signal you when it’s ok to walk. I don’t even know why they’re there. The city could probably save thousands and thousands if they got rid of them completely. The lil man is a mere suggestion. What you do if you’re being told to halt  is look to see if it’s safe to proceed then hurry up and do so. If you walk up to a store/coffee shop/restaurant counter to order better make sure you know what you want. I will guarantee the order taker-er will sigh with impatience if you’re not on top of your game. If there’s a line behind you I hope for your sake the order taker-er won’t call you out and put you on blast. Again, let it be know. I said it before and I’ll say it again. People of New York live their life with efficiency and purpose. Get on that tip and I feel like you’ll do just fine.

These are really minor adjustments in Phase 2 of my big move. There will be more musings and observations, more city living quirks. The hard part hasn’t even happened yet. I still got money in tha’ bank. As I sit here at Kofeeecake Corner  on Lex (Lexington) and 85th on the UES sipping my condense milk iced latte listening to Purple Rain on speaker system (I don’t even like coffee. I just needed wi-fi. Who am I? I should’ve saved that $5. idiot.) I’m well aware of what I’m up against. I know this city isn’t always kind. I know beginners luck and murphy’s law applies to those somewhat ignorant to harsh realities. But I’m optimistic. I live by the motto that it always works out. Always. (That and if I’m not learning I’m not living. But this post ain’t about that. Read earlier posts to get on my level.).

For now I’m out. A friend is in New York later this afternoon/early evening and I anticipate drunken shenanigans and right now I want to walk some more and but an umbrella. It’s raining on and off today and my umbrella is in a box in a garage in West San Jose waiting to be shipped along with other goodies. I hope my friend is paying tonight because this just-moved-to-New-York-city-bright-eyed-explorer (read: anxious-don’t-got-a-job-yet-does’t-really-know-Manhattan-30-something) is counting pennies as her savings quickly dissipates. (Really shouldve started saving money 20 jobs ago…)

Happy Monday you beautiful people. Next post will include photos and maybe if you’re lucky I’ll tell you about the time a fucking glow stick exploded in my eye in Central Park for the Party in the Park NY Philharmonic.  Good times.

P.S. (that means Post Script. Also meaning”after writing”. You know I like to drop knowledge. You’re welcome)  I just realized you all need a Hux update. Huxley was and is still super confused about where to shit given there’s no grass or dirt anywhere except the planters that have signs to “curb your dog” or “keep dog off planters”. What he’s done is decide to shit in the street where the cars park or right in the middle of the cross walk when you’re crossing the street (on a red light, of course). Ask Ela about her first experience walking a dog herself without me around and Huxley’s need to defecate. I should probably carry around a fake 1×1 patch of grass for him to make his life easier. Mental note: look on amazon. Given his current where to shit problems, he’s adjusted very well to the temporary living sitch. He is still very attached to me and hates being left alone in the apt but he loves having more people to play with and bark at when they come home. Ela and him are basically besties ever since she took him for that shit in the middle of a crosswalk stroll and bought him a toy. Dogs are sooo easy. Oh, that Huxley bear. What a lil shit monster.

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